Xuckbegmat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered clam.

Xuckbegmat created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbegmat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xuckbegmat, it will turn you into a frog.

Xuckbegmat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Xuckbegmat's Holy Commandments

1. Xuckbegmat loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never wear jumpers.