Tailzigkik is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, boastful snail.

Tailzigkik created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailzigkik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tailzigkik, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tailzigkik's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tailzigkik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.