Larpyonwee is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, merciless elephant.

Larpyonwee created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpyonwee, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larpyonwee, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Larpyonwee's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Larpyonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention geese.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Pray towards the south.