Yarlyakomtlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane tapir.

Yarlyakomtlarg created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlyakomtlarg, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarlyakomtlarg, he will come to you in dreams.

Yarlyakomtlarg's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Yarlyakomtlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

5. Do not make images of living things.