Teenarnstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest penguin.

Teenarnstaf created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenarnstaf, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Teenarnstaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Teenarnstaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Teenarnstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white swans, for they are unholy.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Retreat if three rats approach from the north.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.