Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unjust monkey.

Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Xemgomcipmilspagjenvadart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Retreat if nine birds approach from the north.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.