Nutnilzen is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, uncaring crow.

Nutnilzen created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Nutnilzen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutnilzen, it will turn you into a tree.

Nutnilzen's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nutnilzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

5. Always help foxes.