Haddumnulsug is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, deceitful dryad.

Haddumnulsug created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haddumnulsug, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Haddumnulsug, she will try to impress you with trees.

Haddumnulsug's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Haddumnulsug's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must pray to Haddumnulsug five times a day.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Haddumnulsug.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear green dresses.