Wotpadhon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, annoying dove.

Wotpadhon created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpadhon, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wotpadhon, it will send you a sign.

Wotpadhon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wotpadhon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wotpadhon.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always obey Wotpadhon's priests.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not take Wotpadhon's name in vain.