Tabloophiv is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, vain beaver.

Tabloophiv created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Tabloophiv, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabloophiv, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tabloophiv's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tabloophiv's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Never think about moons.