Ruttanwon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish porpoise.

Ruttanwon created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttanwon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttanwon, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ruttanwon's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ruttanwon's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Hide from turquoise aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Ruttanwon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.