Tettisabsid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, self-confident hyena.

Tettisabsid created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Tettisabsid, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettisabsid, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tettisabsid's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tettisabsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away if three great tits approach from the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Do not bounce in public.