Rullcepfadspag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid whale.

Rullcepfadspag created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rullcepfadspag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rullcepfadspag, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rullcepfadspag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rullcepfadspag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.