Sogstantab Lantapcum is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, dishonest beaver.

Sogstantab Lantapcum created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogstantab Lantapcum, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sogstantab Lantapcum, it will turn you into a tree.

Sogstantab Lantapcum's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sogstantab Lantapcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.