Teenguntag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented camel.

Teenguntag created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenguntag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Teenguntag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Teenguntag's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Teenguntag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Teenguntag first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.