Targtinzen is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty spider.

Targtinzen created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targtinzen, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Targtinzen, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Targtinzen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Targtinzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. You must pray to Targtinzen seven times a day.

4. Never paint your face green.

5. Targtinzen must be the most important thing in your life.