Nillpigquam is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, able hyena.

Nillpigquam created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillpigquam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nillpigquam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nillpigquam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nillpigquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nillpigquam's priests.

2. Run away from white dolphins, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Feed all hungry bats.

5. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Nillpigquam on top of important buildings.