Nillmadpad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, irritating swan.

Nillmadpad created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillmadpad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nillmadpad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nillmadpad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nillmadpad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nillmadpad.

4. Do not eat strawberries.

5. Do not take Nillmadpad's name in vain.