Taftofbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, confident gerbil.

Taftofbap created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taftofbap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Taftofbap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Taftofbap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Taftofbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Retreat if five whales approach from the south.

3. Hide if nine cats approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Taftofbap.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.