Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage hippopotamus.

Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zigdontommisquartfubkopsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Run away if eight geese approach from the south.

3. Never skip near bats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.