Ontvegbep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, loving horse.

Ontvegbep created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ontvegbep, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ontvegbep, she will destroy your favourite star.

Ontvegbep's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ontvegbep's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontvegbep.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if five swans approach from the west.