Lamladaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sapient goblin.

Lamladaf created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamladaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lamladaf, she will turn you into a frog.

Lamladaf's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lamladaf's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never wear cyan jumpers.

5. Do not run in public.