Xinzenceb is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud giraffe.

Xinzenceb created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinzenceb, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinzenceb, he will not invite you to parties.

Xinzenceb's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Xinzenceb's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Xinzenceb loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.