Xemmutnibhit is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy bear.

Xemmutnibhit created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemmutnibhit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemmutnibhit, it will curse you with boils.

Xemmutnibhit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Xemmutnibhit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the north.