Ortcudwad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair slug.

Ortcudwad created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortcudwad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortcudwad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Ortcudwad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ortcudwad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Ortcudwad.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.