Quafcebget is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, grumpy newt.

Quafcebget created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcebget, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quafcebget, she will not care.

Quafcebget's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Quafcebget's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.