Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, able penguin.

Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss' most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Pidbumvin Arfsascabjatdoss on top of all buildings.

5. Do not eat bananas.