Kimgoflen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, staggering narwhal.

Kimgoflen created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kimgoflen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kimgoflen, he will cry a lot.

Kimgoflen's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kimgoflen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the east.

5. Never play with disobedient children.