Looppigquill is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, annoying swan.

Looppigquill created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Looppigquill, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Looppigquill, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Looppigquill's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Looppigquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.