Gutgatzed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent wyrm.

Gutgatzed created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutgatzed, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gutgatzed, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gutgatzed's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gutgatzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.