Farnbissmig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, thoughtless dragonfly.

Farnbissmig created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnbissmig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farnbissmig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Farnbissmig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Farnbissmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Farnbissmig eight times a day.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.