Yomlarglad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, pitiless snail.

Yomlarglad created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yomlarglad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yomlarglad, he will be very sad.

Yomlarglad's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yomlarglad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yomlarglad.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear coats.