Bagfubzen Sasgatcit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tranquil mongoose.

Bagfubzen Sasgatcit created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Bagfubzen Sasgatcit, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bagfubzen Sasgatcit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bagfubzen Sasgatcit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bagfubzen Sasgatcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Bagfubzen Sasgatcit loves sheep, so they must be respected.

3. Never feed beans to tortoises while wearing blue ear rings.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bagfubzen Sasgatcit on top of all buildings.