Ratparkquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish dragon.

Ratparkquaf created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratparkquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratparkquaf, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ratparkquaf's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ratparkquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Ratparkquaf.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.