Ortvoglen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awesome wolf.

Ortvoglen created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortvoglen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ortvoglen, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Ortvoglen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Ortvoglen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five zinc sculptures of Ortvoglen on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Ortvoglen loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Pray towards the south.