Badtiffoss is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unselfish raven.

Badtiffoss created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badtiffoss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Badtiffoss, he will turn you into a dog.

Badtiffoss' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Badtiffoss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the north.

2. You must pray to Badtiffoss eight times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Always wear yellow.