Metlagflam is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, capable hyena.

Metlagflam created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metlagflam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Metlagflam, she will send minions to preach to you.

Metlagflam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Metlagflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away from pink moths, for they are unholy.

5. Hide from mauve squirrels for they are unholy.