Dithivol is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ruthless swallow.

Dithivol created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dithivol, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dithivol, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dithivol's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dithivol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Dithivol loves doves, so they must be respected.