Nartbadtof Konsidlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic mongoose.

Nartbadtof Konsidlarn created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartbadtof Konsidlarn, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nartbadtof Konsidlarn, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nartbadtof Konsidlarn's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Nartbadtof Konsidlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.