Haktignurtvid Bast is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered rat.

Haktignurtvid Bast created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktignurtvid Bast, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Haktignurtvid Bast, it will not care at all.

Haktignurtvid Bast's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Haktignurtvid Bast's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Haktignurtvid Bast.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never feed aubergines to ducks while wearing mauve shirts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat cucumbers.