Sadlabkam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful badger.

Sadlabkam created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadlabkam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sadlabkam, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sadlabkam's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sadlabkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest cyan.

2. You must love Sadlabkam.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Retreat if five sheep approach from the west.

5. Always help cats.