Hakratceb is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, irritating butterfly.

Hakratceb created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hakratceb, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hakratceb, it will throw large rocks at you.

Hakratceb's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hakratceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. You must pray to Hakratceb four times a day.

5. Never talk about goats.