Vonbodzak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing alligator.

Vonbodzak created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbodzak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vonbodzak, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vonbodzak's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Vonbodzak's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Do not listen to music.