Flamflatfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring wren.

Flamflatfoss created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamflatfoss, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamflatfoss, she will turn you into a mouse.

Flamflatfoss' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flamflatfoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. You must love Flamflatfoss.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not sit in public.