Teencapbast is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witty manatee.

Teencapbast created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencapbast, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Teencapbast, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Teencapbast's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Teencapbast's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always obey Teencapbast's priests.

5. Run away if four sharks approach from the north.