Vogjamfar Dobjadbig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, grumpy centipede.

Vogjamfar Dobjadbig created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vogjamfar Dobjadbig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogjamfar Dobjadbig, she will destroy your home planet.

Vogjamfar Dobjadbig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vogjamfar Dobjadbig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Vogjamfar Dobjadbig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.