Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, caring fish.

Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Shavpibvag Pitdumteen Dutbaptifvinved loves monkeys, so they must be respected.