Vonwigwan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, annoying ferret.

Vonwigwan created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonwigwan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonwigwan, she will be very sad.

Vonwigwan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vonwigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Run away if seven ducks approach from the west.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.