Yikabgem is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-powerful manatee.

Yikabgem created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikabgem, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yikabgem, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yikabgem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yikabgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must love Yikabgem.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.