Quimzoggun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient mink.

Quimzoggun created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimzoggun, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimzoggun, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quimzoggun's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Quimzoggun's Holy Commandments

1. Quimzoggun loves horses, so they must be honoured.

2. Hide if five monkeys approach from the east.

3. Retreat if nine pigs approach from the west.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.